The beauty of healing.

This blog post is not intended to be an expository that packages healing into a pretty little box.

It's not a tidy homiletic that can be used in a PowerPoint presentation about healing.

Nor is it a rhetorical speech meant to persuade or convince.

This is simply one woman's testimony of supernatural healing in my life… healing that has been both ugly AND beautiful.

I'm going to spare my readers laborious details, but suffice to say about 4 years ago, I entered the most difficult time of my life. It was hard…really, really hard. I went through a long, dark night of the soul that affected every area of my well-being.

I understand that these few words written on a sunny Tuesday morning in June will never accurately convey the fullness of this story. Because of that understanding, I've been hesitant to talk about it or write about it, or even share it with my closest friends…

Some things seem too precious and sacred…

But when healing comes, it's hard not to give in to the deep release of testimonial worship and thanksgiving that naturally rises from the depths of one's innermost wells…wells that have been troubled and filled with pain, and now flow with new life and wonder and expectation.

That water just has to flow…

Beginning somewhere around the fall of 2017, we unknowingly entered a season of our lives to which I have come to refer as The Great and Terrible Day of the Lord.

Although I could write a book on the seasons before this time, and I am confident there will be many stories to tell going forward, this "day" will certainly always be one of the most defining of my life.

I will give you a few details, but this season was so much bigger than these events…all of which together caused a storm that swept through my soul and my family…laid bare my identity and the things upon which I had come to depend…and drove me into The Wilderness—a place of loneliness and separation. In this place, I found there was only One who could help me…One and only One.

Some of these events…

My husband had MAJOR back surgery that threatened his life. The doctors told him basically, "damned if you do or damned if you don't." I watched my strong, generous, kind husband suffer from pain and weakness. He became unable to do the things he loved the most. He chose to have the surgery, and that decision proved to be a good one. He's doing very well, back farming and building and loving life. But for many months, we didn't know…

We lost our beloved apostle during this time, a man with whom we had walked closely for 34 years, and that loss was a long and difficult one. His passing over caused a major transition in our lives, one that brought great misunderstandings and recriminations from people for whom we cared deeply. We lost many of our friends, some of whom we considered family. My heart was deeply broken by the loss.

During this time, I received a diagnosis of probable breast cancer; two lumps that did NOT look good. I spoke to no one…except my Father. Only after I got the news that I had either been supernaturally healed or the diagnosis was a false positive did I share any of that.

Also, on October 10th of 2018, we experienced a Category 5 hurricane that devastated much of our farm and swept away in a few hours decades of hard work and stewardship. We, along with our friends and neighbors and fellow citizens of the Florida Panhandle, experienced a life-altering event, the repercussions of which will be felt for generations to come. Although we were thankful to be alive—and did our very best to help our neighbors—we personally experienced great loss.

Also, during this "day", we experienced the greatest sorrow of them all: We were told that our beloved 11th grandbaby—Jubilee—a little girl named in honor of a promise we had received going into this season—had a broken heart and would not be able to live here in this dimension with us, and probably wouldn't make it full term.

We were devastated…

To say all of this in just a few words can never fully express the depth of pain and loss that hit us…like wave after wave of dark waters…us coming up just enough to catch a breath….

We held onto Him and one another…but there was little comfort to be found.

At every moment along this journey, we never gave up on our faith in a God that holds our lives in His hands. But that's all we had….and most days I didn't feel Him or hear Him. I am thankful He helped me stay quiet because I've learned that pain often speaks louder than anything else. I wasn't singing or praising or reading my Bible. I was suffering quietly, some days thinking surely death would be better…

But deep inside there was a quiet knowing that He was working and that if I would trust Him, there would come a time of relief…that healing WOULD come…

…and it has…

I'm going to leave the story here. There is much more I could say, but the message I really want to convey is this: True, deep, beautiful, generational Healing only comes from one place…from Yahshua, our Resurrected King. I give Him all glory and honor in ALL of this. He IS grace. He IS Truth. He IS healing…

And His healing will demonstrate the abundant life He provides...in physical, tangible ways!

As I walked around our land last week, I had a desire to share this story for the first time. I had a deep knowing that Heritage Farm is showing off the healing that we have received. The healing that took place in those deep, unseen waters of our souls has now flowed out, and become rivers in the desert of our life. His healing can be seen on our faces, around our supper tables, in our flourishing businesses, in the calves that frolic in our fields, in our fruit trees and flowers and vegetable gardens.

Our land is healed.

Our bodies are healed.

Our hearts are healed.

Sure, I know we will have difficult days again. Life brings that indiscriminately….

But I also know that the pain and transition that came during OUR Great and Terrible Day of the Lord was the ending and the beginning of a new season…a new day…a new generation for our Heritage Nation.

Jubilee has come to us…a precious seed that speaks of the Healing of all things broken, the settling all things back to their original intent.

We give thanks for that. We wouldn't go back. We have found our place in this Wilderness with Him…and His word in us is blooming and bearing fruit in ways that can only bring honor to the one and only Healer for us all…

Dedicated to Jubilee.